Running and Control

During the two years following seminary, when I had time and no kids, I wrote a book. Since then I have been trying to find an agent who thinks this book is worth representing. So far I have not had any luck. Recently, I had a request for a hard-copy of the full manuscript. This is rare because most agents work electronically and most just respond with a form letter. So I paid the $10.70 to ship the 275 pages across the country.

I was realistic about the many obstacles in front of me, but also excited. I have lived too much of my life with my foot on the brake, not allowing myself to feel excited or hopeful, because things were not guaranteed. But I have decided that this is no way to live. So I gave myself license to daydream a bit. I know that getting an agent does not mean a book will get published, and that getting a book published does not change your life, but it would still be an accomplishment and something I could be proud of having done.

Then the email arrived. She was complimentary and constructive, but passed on the project all the same. And this is why I mention all this in a blog about running. It is because part of the reason that I run is because for the most part, my running is in my control. Running does not depend on another person's judgment of my skill or effort. Running does not require a peer-edit or a boss's signature. While I need my wife to watch the kids (which she does willingly), no one needs to give me permission to run. No one needs to approve my entry into a race. If I want to do it, I fill out the form and send in the fee and toe the line.

This is control and it makes me feel good. When I received yet another rejection I knew that I could and would run, that I would accomplish my goal of training for and running this 50K race. And that would be something that I could be proud of having done.

In more practical matters, Caryn and I are going to IKEA tomorrow to try and find beds for the kids. This means I won't be getting in a long run. However, I am going to try and sneak in the Snug Harbor Kick-off to Summer 5K before we leave. I may try to log some miles before the race starts at 8:30. But I am planning a long run on Memorial Day. I've recruited some of Caryn's family to run with me in what I'm calling the First Annual Adam Navis Rosy Mound Endurance Challenge. Should be fun. Need to log around 20 miles to stay on track, but we'll see because Rosy Mound is over the dunes, which means a lot of stairs. Perhaps time is going to be a better measurement for that run. I'll try to post pictures. I know I keep promising pictures, but I'm still debating on my fanny-pack, but perhaps I'll just use my cell phone.